Session Three:


Situations to Consider 


The Situations section has been developed in consultation with students from Northcote High School. Although there are many pertinent situations to consider, the session is limited to four so as to allow approximately 10 minutes to discuss and respond to each. 

The students will first need to log into the 'situations to consider' section and then work their way through what they think should be done in each situation.

The facilitator should then run and 'activity' session where students can discuss each situation and possible responses as a group and then possibly come to agreed 'best practise for each situation.

As  leader you need to direct your group to:

• Register

• Consider each of the 4 situations in turn

• Focus the discussion around safety, and the costs and benefits of each possible choice of action

• Discuss the general ideas for safe bystander intervention presented as a “cheat sheet’


10 Things Men Can Do.

http://www.jacksonkatz.com/wmcd.html


Can your group come up with their own 10 things men could do?


Video: 'Photograph'. Australian Sexting Short Film

An excellent resource for a single lesson looking at sexting and  its implications.

Contact the  Domestic Violence Resource Centre for more information.



Go to the link below 
for an excellent contemporary song that deals with intimate partner violence.



The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down


Face Down lyrics



Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy 

One look puts the rhythm in my head 

Still I'll never understand why you hang around 

I see what's going down 


Cover up with makeup in the mirror 

Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again 

You cry alone and that he swears he loves you 

Do you feel like a man when you push her around? 

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? 

Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end 

As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found 


A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect 

Every action in this world will bear a consequence
 
If you wait around forever you will surely drown
 
I see what's going down 

I see the way you go and say you're alright again 

Say you're alright again 

Heed my lecture 


Do you feel like a man when you push her around? 

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? 

Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
 
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found 

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
 
It's coming round again 


Face down in the dirt she says "this doesn't hurt" 

She says " I've finally had enough" 

Face down in the dirt she says "this doesn't hurt" 

She says " I've finally had enough"


 

  

 This is an excellent clip and song.

It is great from the perspective that a very popular male band is willing to take up the issue of intimate partner violence and challenge the audience "does it make you feel like a man?"

It is also a clever clip showing the violence in a different way.

It is also worth reading through the lyrics as they can be lost in the clip. (see opposite)

It has had over 18 million hits on You Tube!

I like to use this clip as a lead in discussion regarding the often heard statement from some ill informed parts of society, "why did'nt she just leave" ?

Did You know?

  • That in approximately 48% of cases where a women is killed by her partner, the thing she did prior to being killed was leave?
  • The average number of attempts for a women to leave a violent relationship is 7?
I also discuss with the boys the number of cases in Australia where men actually harm or even kill their children as a way of punishing their partner.
These women know what violence their partner is capable of. It isn't just as simple as leaving.

Role Play


Be The Hero! encourages young men to speak out against violence and challenge those who promote disrespectful attitudes toward women and girls.

Unfortunately it is not an easy task for any of us to do this, let alone a young person who is trying to maintain his place within his group.

Our role as educators is vital here. We have all experienced how tough it is to speak out in a group and as adults still find it difficult. We must explain this to the boys and let them know that it might take numerous attempts before they summon the courage to speak out.

To help them gain this confidence, the following is a start;

  1. Within a group of men, most will be decent men leading respectful lives, therefore you have the numbers in your favour. ie more people will agree with you than don't.
  2. The violent men will usually be the loudest or most confronting. They are this way because they know their position is very vulnerable and don't want people to challenge them. They love silence and will try to maintain that. Their worst fear is people speaking up against them!

Give your students some non confrontational lines to practice: 

 ie "I don't support that view"

     "I don't see how being violent to your partner has any benefit to anyone"

     " Violence has never achieved happiness for anyone"

     " I don't believe 'real men' are violent towards women"


The 'I' statements are less confrontational and less engaging than personalising the arguement.

If the person challenges you back you can respond with, "I'm just stating my opinion".


Now it is important to allow the students to role play the scenarios or discuss them as a whole group.

Students should come up with strategies to speak up that are effective but do not endanger them.


Then they need to practice them in the safety of the class to see how they work.


Can your school develop its own '5 things our students can do to stand up against violence'?


Could these go into a You Tube clip?

(If you do this please send us a copy.)


Activating the bystander.


Has your organisation discussed the concept of activating the bystander?

Discuss with your students how effective bystanders can be in minimising violence.

Discuss the risks associated with being an active bystander.

Can they work out ways around this?


Here is an example that could be used to guide the activated bystander.


  A       Assess the danger (to yourself)                       D   Dont film

  S       Send for help                                                   O   Organise a crowd

  S       Separate                                                          N   No inciting of further violence

   I        Inform of consequences                                  T   Turn around and do nothing

  S       Support

  T       Try again


or 


Upper West High School


Bystander Expectations


Positive Action

1. Assess danger to yourself

2. Send another student for help

3. Encourage students involved to stop

4. If safe, take one of the students away

Negative Action

1. Encouraging the fight to proceed

2. Filming the fight

3. Encouraging others to watch the fight

4. Not reporting the incident